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Amazon.com: getting the love you want by harville hendrix.

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Terry and John’s STORY

Many years ago my partner and I decided that we would adopt and since, we are the proud parents of two beautiful children. The adoption process provides the time and opportunity to really reflect upon the type of parent you want to be with your children. It also can force you to choose, superficially, what type of child you want to have. You are asked whether you want a boy or a girl, whether or not you want a child that is similar to you with regard to race/ethnicity/religion etc. All these questions allow one to get in touch with his/her stereotypes, fears, biases etc. I wondered how an African American child would feel  if he/she were raised by two gay dads who were not.  The adoption process is quite an amazing journey, in that respect. Ultimately, what mattered most to us was that we wanted to be parents and we would consciously work to be the best parents we could be to the children that we would be gifted with.